It's A Start

Today begins the Decorating Divas adventure #1... merging 2 households into 1.

A bit of history first, this couple is in their mid-life stage and they were recently re-married after living on their own for over 10 years. He has lived in this house for 20+ years and she still owns a home that has furniture in every room.

Now think about how much stuff you collect as a single person and times that by 2, plus, a previous marriage or more. Wow! That could be up to 4 peoples stuff under one roof and now add in a few kids who left their memory boxes behind and we are at least at 6 people's stuff. Ow!

So begins the task of sorting, selling, letting go and oh by the way, making what is left match!

This is a task for the Decorating Divas! 2 cousins by marriage, one 1980's house and a lot of really cool stuff that has stories to tell.

My husband and I recently moved to upper Michigan, a place where shabby and chic go together. There are shabby cottages and chic pocket books. There are chic homes and shabby bank accounts and most importantly there are chic people who take pride in where they live but don't need or have the interest in starting all over again.

It's a task and a half to begin, but what you yield will not only provide more peace and harmony in your home it will create a space where you can entertain his, hers and "our" friends and family.

Now let's get down to the nitty gritty and begin, shall we?

Step #1:These are a few of my favorite things

The first step to merging households is to sit down and discuss the emotional stuff. As a licensed professional counselor I realize that you can't take something away until the person knows what they are going to get in return. If Grandmother's Antique Mission Oak Stickley Rocker has been handed down through the generations and you send it off to the garage this may not start the marriage off to   great marital bliss.

Talk about your expectations, timing, non-negotiables and importantly how you are feeling about the merging process. Don't assume this is easy for either of you. Change is more difficult for some then it is for others. Take the time necessary to hear your spouse's heart.

Step #2: Walk and Talk

Dream a little here. Talk about the functionality of each room. Do you want a nice sitting area where the two of you can have coffee together? Do you like to read and need a special light? Do you like like beige and he likes gray?

What are your priorities? Do you want to do one room at a time, mix it all up at once? Do you need a Pod to store stuff while the carpets get clean? Can you move the stuff by yourself or do you need to hire a few strapping high school boys to move stuff around on a Saturday afternoon?

Is there painting to be done? Are there items that need to be refinished or reupholstered to breathe new life into them without buying something new? What is your timing - 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 year?

Step #3: Sticker me

Stop off at the dollar store and pick up 6 rolls of duct tape: 2 red, 2 yellow and 2 green. Pour your favorite beverage, handout a roll of each color to both spouses, turn on some cool tunes and get "stickering".

Red- is for STOP and "get me out of here"
Yellow - is for "I love you but you just may have to go"
Green - is for "there is no way I can part with you"

Set a timer for 15-30 minutes and don't talk. Just get stickering!

When the timer dings you can both take a deep breath and decide not to question your spouses choices.

Step #4: Move it, move it (this can be done room by room or as a whole house depending on how much stuff we are talking about)

Move all of the green things into one room or one side of the room , if you can, even if you differ.
Move the yellow into another room/area and put the red items in the garage where your car usually sits.

Call Purple Heart or Goodwill and arrange for a pickup for 1 week from the day you start. This means that your car may be sitting in the driveway for a week but I can assure you that it is worth it to lighten your load. You can also schedule a garage sale if you are the type of person who wants to make cash instead of getting a tax write-off. Make sure you take inventory before pick-up day.

If you have a green and a red sticker on the item just move it to yellow for now and see if you find a good spot for it. Don't fret if your spouse puts green on more items then you do, consider it an opportunity to learn what is important to the other person.

It's a start...unleash your inner diva!